A mistake I used to make was believing everything needed to be 50/50 — in my marriage, at work, or even when repaying a friend. But the truth is, especially in authentic relationships, balance isn’t always even. Sometimes it’s 80/20, other times 20/80.


What really matters is that, in the long run, it adds up to 100.


I’ve come to learn that balance is dynamic, not fixed. It shifts with circumstances, and what matters most is showing up when you can, in the ways that you can. Here are a few personal examples that taught me this lesson:

1. Professional Work: On any team project, contributions naturally ebb and flow. People bring different skills, bandwidth, and energy depending on the moment. One person might lead because they have the capacity that week, while another steps back to practice delegation or manage competing priorities. Fair isn’t always equal. Fair is everyone bringing what they can, when they can.
2. Marriage: Long-term relationships move through seasons. After the birth of our daughter, my wife shouldered much more — from breastfeeding to round-the-clock newborn care. For a while, it was 80/20. And that was okay. Love isn’t about scorekeeping. It’s about showing up — especially when it matters most.
3. Friendships: True friendship isn’t transactional. I’ve learned not to wait for the other person to text or make plans. Sometimes it feels one-sided, but real friends remember who stood by them when things were hard. And when life flips, they’ll do the same for you. The long-term math works out — not through perfect balance, but through mutual care.‍

‍Key Takeaway:
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True balance isn’t about splitting things evenly in every moment. It’s about showing up fully over time, in the ways you’re able, and trusting that it all adds up in the end.

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