Last week was my mother’s birthday.

Every year, when the day comes around, I find myself pausing — not to think about gifts or celebrations, but about the quiet, steady way she shaped my life. And this year, one truth rose above all the others. A truth I now try to model for my own daughter.

It’s the balance of high expectations and high support.

Growing up, my mom never let me shrink from my potential. She believed I could do more, be more, reach farther — long before I believed it myself. But she didn’t just set the bar high and walk away. She showed up, over and over again, in the ways that matter most.

She sat in the stands during my baseball games when it was 98 degrees, fanning herself with the program but never missing an inning.
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She sat there again when it was 35 degrees, wrapped in a blanket and clutching a portable heater, even though the game didn’t end until nearly 10 p.m. on a weekday.

She clapped the loudest when things went well.
She gave the most thoughtful critiques when they didn’t.
She was my biggest fan — and my most honest mirror.

As I got older, her approach started to reveal its deeper meaning.

High expectations weren’t pressure.
They were belief.
A quiet vote of confidence that said, I see something in you — something you might not see yet.

High support wasn’t coddling.
It was partnership.
A steady hand on my back that said, I’ll walk with you while you go after it.

It took becoming a parent myself to understand just how rare and powerful that combination really is.

Because high expectations without high support?
That’s a recipe for resentment. It feels like someone demanding excellence from the sidelines while refusing to step on the field with you.

And high support without high expectations?
That’s a recipe for stagnation. It reinforces the lie that “where you are” is all you can ever be.

But when the two collide — when belief meets presence, when challenge meets love — that’s where people grow. That’s where they stretch beyond their circumstances, beyond their doubts, beyond their old limitations.

That’s what my mother gave me for decades.
And it’s what I hope I’m giving my daughter now.

So, Mom — happy birthday.
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Thank you for expecting so much of me.
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And thank you for supporting me even more.
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Key Takeaway: The strongest relationships rest on two pillars — high expectations and high support. Believe in people, push them to grow, and then stand beside them as they rise.

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